Mary Christine Parks
MSW, LCSW, LCAS, CCS, ICAADC, RYT200

marychristine.lcsw.lcas@gmail.com 
4302 Wrightsville Avenue Suite 1
 Wilmington, NC    28403
910-622-7204
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"The trouble is, you think you have time." -Buddah

10/25/2013

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Time. There is never enough of it and yet we think we have all the time in the world. Too often we run ourselves ragged by prioritizing the wrong things.  Frequently, our health and wellbeing only gets attention at the new year, when we feel like we are getting "fat", or when we have a adverse health event. 

Study after study has shown that we humans live much more productive and enjoyable lives when we take care of ourselves. You can start with something simple . . . create a schedule. Schedule time for self-care activities; meditation, exercise, massage, recreation, taking a class and then follow through. You will find that you have more energy, a greater capacity for focus, and improved mood. Your body and your family will thank you.

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"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." -Joseph Campbell

10/14/2013

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Remember Kindergarten? We were always asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Some of us wanted to be doctors, others firemen, still others astronauts, but as Kindergartners we knew little about the world and ourselves to make such a determination. Our parents and teachers thought our declarations were adorable, but they didn't hold us to them.

We all create plans for our lives, some much more rigid than others. We dream about who we want to be, what career we will have, the house we will live in. Hopes and dreams for the future can be beautiful things as long as we allow them to be something akin to a Choose Your Own Adventure book; one decision leads to another with an exciting outcome.

Too often we believe that having a plan provides us with control. This false sense of security, this believe that we can control the ambiguity of our future, often stands in the path of what is possible. Sometimes we have to get out of our own way and allow the future to unfold to be truly happy.

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"It takes a great deal of courage to see the world in all its tainted glory, and still to love it." -Oscar Wilde

10/10/2013

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It is nearly impossible to avoid all of the negativity that surrounds us day by day. Whether on a large scale or a personal one we are easily bogged down with all of this negativity. But here we have a choice, do we allow the negativity to consume us or to we use it to help motivate us towards change. 

Take our current political climate . . . regardless of what side you are on, you want to see things change. Rather than putting our heads in the sand, we can advocate for what we want. Hardship has the opportunity to unite us, if we are willing.

On a personal scale we are all faced from time to time with what feel like impossible circumstances. At these times we are likely to feel overwhelmed and powerless. The world in all of its tainted glory feels like, well, hell really. This is when we have to put life in slow motion to see the silver lining, the opportunities that lie just below the surface of our fear. It takes a great deal of courage to love ourselves and the world in spite of all its glorious imperfection. 

My mother is a wonderful example of this. Diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer when I was 12, my mom's world was spinning completely out of control. She was facing the likelihood of death and leaving behind her 4 children, ranging in age from 2 to 15. But she didn't give up. She put her world into slow motion. She focused all of her attention on loving us and allowing that to fuel her fight and I will be forever grateful.

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"One of the simplest ways to stay happy is letting go of the things that make you sad" -Daily Dose

10/9/2013

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Oh, that's all we have to do! Easy right? I believe that this is one of those easier said than done statements, beautiful though it may be.  However, there is great truth in this statement. So it may not be easy, but it is worth the struggle we may endure to come out on the other side. Like the dandelion in the picture, something causes the seeds to float away; a breath perhaps or a gust of wind. For us "letting go" requires an intention and effort. There are many ways to "let go" and these depend on what it is that we are releasing; an emotion, control, a person.

Below are a few considerations that may help you decide if you are ready to let go and what the most effective means of letting go may be.
  1. What are your secondary gains in holding on? How do you benefit from allowing it to remain in your life?
  2. How would your life be different without it?
  3. Are you able to change it?
  4. If you decided to let go how would you go about it? Would you create boundaries? Would you turn it over to your higher power? Would you write it down? Would you express it in some other form; a song perhaps or a painting?
  5. Are you comfortable seeking counsel and is it appropriate to ask for help? This may be from a family member, friend, spiritual leader, or professional.

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"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step" -MLK Jr.

10/8/2013

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There are many times in life when the future feels completely overwhelming. Our tendency is to procrastinate or avoid; hoping that things will just miraculously fall into place with little effort on our part. But often what we put into something is what we get out of it. Therefore, take that first step into the future and make it a sure one. Place your full weight on that foot, feel the step beneath you, and when it doesn't break ... do it again.

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Copyright 2012 Mary Christine Parks. All rights reserved.
Photos used under Creative Commons from Adhi Rachdian, edenpictures, qwrrty, ajari, mcginnly